Escape

    This piece was a spare in the moment thing after thinking of what to do with a piece of paper that i had rolled printing ink on when using it for another piece. I dont like throwing away things when they could be useful later on, especially if they have paint on or some type of marking as it makes it unique. I made the pages look quite rough, using a paintbrush with black paint, i roughly painted some strokes to fill any white gaps. I also printed some random black circles and made white lines with tipex to help some written words stand out on the page. I proceeded to rip some of the left page and staple it. Finally i tied these two pages into my book using broken headphones as this entire piece was linked to music as a form to escape. Music helps us release emotions we hold inside, i made the pages look rough as if someone was trapped inside scratching walls to get out. Additionally a song on the first listen can sound completely  different and simple compared to when you have listened to it more and pick up on the lyrics that can reveal a darker tone. Similar to when looking at these pages as the longer you look at them the more details you notice.
      On the pages behind i kept it quite simple. I glued ripped pages from a book. Each page had some text that i felt was relevant and told a story of its own. Basically it shows a conflict with wanting to stay asleep to escape reality as it is easier but needing to wake up. Originally the book was about a girl in a coma. This progresses as the right page is more about accomplishing it, thats why the page above isnt ripped and has no staples in. Even though it's still chaotic the page is less broken as if it has begun to heal. On the rest of the back page i squirted black, acrylic paint. I was originally going to spread the paint but i liked the paint splatter so i let them dry. The black paint is like the voice from the pages encouraging her to go back to sleep, it may act as a comfort but permanently it is unhealthy and eventually they trap you if you let them overtake. On the page they have not taken a formation they look like germs spreading but not to a rate that it has caused an illness, yet. This story connects with the pages on top as i feel they express the torment of her mind of feeling trapped. I used lyrics from songs by Walking On Cars as these lyrics link in with the idea of escape.
    The song used on the left page is called "Catch Me If You Can". When first hearing this song i interpreted it as being about someone afraid of their emotions and the world around them, they had been hurt before and from a young age so now they hide and hope someone can stop them from running away in their mind but are too afraid to commit to anyone for that to happen. Alternatively, they are in a relationship and one lost the other or is losing them to an illness or death. For instance they could have alzheimer's and due to their memory loss feel trapped in their old marriage as the other is not willing to let them be free. Personally i like the idea of a person who lost their love to suicide and in grief begins to imagine them as if they are being called to catch them like said in the song. It would also deal with the mental health that affected the person to commit in the first place. All these ideas i had imagined for this song links to the idea of wanting to escape; i felt the lyrics helped express and connect to the emotion made from the story on the back pages. I zoomed in on "I'm a little bit scared of life and vulnerable is all you need to know so won't you play pretend." as it sums up the majority of what i'm looking into through this body of work.  Itr shows how they want to live in a fantasy to cope with everything that they are not coping with, it also invites others to join them as they fear being alone.
     On the right page i used the song "Tick Tock" as it is about trying to let go of childhood. The song is quite sad as it is clear they are not handling adult life easily and wish they could go back to their play pretend as the song describes falling. It also says "I love you but i must say goodbye" which is always heartbreaking when hearing it in the song. Overall each lyric is beautiful and meaningful. I felt this song worked for this page as it shows a development in the person, they are trying to move on from their fantasy and understand it's unhealthy to live in. But they are still hurting thats why their is little difference in the pages still as they are beginning to heal. In this picture it shows the lyric "Inside all these people are small kids ready to scream" which i felt was very important as it reflects how they are not alone and the mass problem of mental health in the world currently. I tied these pages in with broken headphones as the wires act as a rope trapping the person, but them being broken shows a disconnection and even the idea of the person turning them off to stop daydreaming.
    To improve this i would maybe try making the pages more different to show a better, more obvious progression. For instance using different colours like lighter ones to show happiness and use smoother paint strokes to make it clear they are recovering. Although i really enjoy the disorderly look shared on the pages as it conveys the overpowering mixed emotions.