First Year Evaluation

    I believe i have grown more confident in my art since the beginning of the year. I am more open to exploring and trying things i never thought would interest me. At the beginning of the year i really enjoyed the freedom and control i had over my work, and what i could explore artists wise. To see how different everyone's work turned out in the class was very interesting and even exciting. The freedom allowed me to explore different techniques and develop my own skills, as well as new ones, that interested and felt relevant to me. The lessons i struggled with the most was when we were made to create a piece without having previous time to explore and develop a meaning to it. I enjoy creating a meaning and being able to explore it in every little detail in my work, when made to create some piece with no meaning i felt lost and wasted time trying to put something together that made sense. Usually i found i disliked these pieces as they became an irrelevant mess as i rushed creating it in the end once i gave up trying to find a purpose.
    When working in creating six sketchbooks, with the short time we had, i accidentally fell behind on blog as i became engrossed in working in my sketchbooks. My creating technique is usually quite improvised as i get new ideas whilst making a piece and continue on to the next page. This was pushed further with short time, meaning i needed to get the sketchbooks done first. Before i knew it i was six sketchbooks behind on blog. Now i feel more prepared and in control of updating my blog so i don't fall deeply behind. I find the explanation and new developing ideas are just as important as the artwork as i come up with new ideas whilst analysing my work.
    My first project was heavily influenced by music and books as i explored fantasy vs reality. This was personal for me as i believe i am a maladaptive daydreamer and by exploring the effects of constant daydreaming it helped me understand my situation better, even trying to daydream less and be more productive. Despite it being personal for me i feel i still distanced myself from my work as i didnt talk or exploit specific details that relate back to me. As an artist i want to grow and be comfortable to show my feelings and personal life. I understand it will take time to do that but it is something i want to constantly be working towards.
    Doing small workshops where we try new techniques were really helpful for me as i learned new things that i could incorporate into my work. I love finding and reusing new materials in my work, mixed media is something i have grown strongly for and find it difficult to resist as every piece turns out incredibly unique. Despite my admiration for fabrics and sewing i feel my skills lack hugely in this area, mainly because i lack patience. This is something i should develop next year and explore in more detail. This year i was able to do this for my drawing skills. After GCSE i didn't find time for drawing and needed to get back into it, over the summer i plan to continue developing my observational drawing skills and even expand to painting.
    Painting is another medium i thoroughly enjoy but never knew how to explore. I love watercolour, oil and acrylic. I especially enjoy vibrant colours and bold paint strokes where you can see the colours mix and layer. Over the summer i plan to develop my drawings into paintings on canvas as i have never painted on canvases before. Then next year i plan to create my own style of painting, trying different materials to use as a canvas such as wood, metal and fabric. Then bring in mixed media into my work once i feel confident in my painting style.
    Photography and 3/4D work was something i could never picture myself doing at the beginning of the year. Technology has never been a strong point of mine but i enjoy taking photos and creating the image that is in the photo. Being able to step into my art is very indulging. Probably because its similar to stepping into a daydream for real as it is brought to life. I really like the idea of the viewer being able to step into the artwork and be able to walk through it like a mini world. I found throughout this year i kept stepping into using 3D materials and creating bigger ideas that i felt was impossible to create by lack of materials, space and skill. Photography is definitely something i would like to develop, creating photos using different cameras like vintage ones as well as exploring light and staging the photo. I would like to try body art too as that will combine painting, modelling/photography and the human body (which i find very intriguing to draw). As for the bigger, 4D ideas i have, i feel i need to grow more confident in my art and become more assured in that area before attempting it. For now i want to grow with the skills i already have and learn to combine it with 3D artwork, that way i will be more prepared for using 4D material.

Final Piece: Evalutation

      For my final piece i looked into materials, social media and photography. I decided to try doing something completely new as my focus instead of my usual use of painting. The photos show a story of someone who is vulnerable and unhappy with their body image due to social media depicting a "desirable" look and life. This has reflected poorly for their mental health as they follow the beliefs in society's expectations (represented by the weeds), nourishing and accepting these viewpoints. In the attempt to fit into the expectations they have dangerously damaged their bodies. There are about 1.25 million people suffering from an eating disorder in the UK alone. Since 2005 these numbers have raised by 7% each year and anorexia has the highest mortality rates of any psychiatric disorder. It is difficult to know what causes the development of an eating disorder between family genetics or environmental factors. However, the influence that social media has on people, especially young and vulnerable ones, is massive. I found many negative comments online towards people who were not stick thin. Unwanted comments attacking a stranger for how they look, i found it devastating; people learn to insult and mock others instead of learning that everyone is unique and beautiful.
      I wanted to show how horrible and painful it is for people who suffer eating disorders, and the many who hate their bodies as they were not taught to love them. I wanted to exploit the feeling of isolation and danger the sufferers go through instead of creating a piece telling the viewer to love and accept their body. This way they can understand the pain themself and see the horror, therefore able to make the conscious decision that this is not alright. People remember the devastating images more than happier ones, i believe they will remember this piece more and make them want to act on it.
    I chose a colour scheme of black, white and red. I wanted the photos to be dark and empty, conveying the feeling of loneliness and loss of hope. Black is very heavy in the photos, engulfing the body as the body becomes weaker and thinner. The colour is death and grief. An eating disorder can take over and rule someone's life, that person dies and they grieve as they lose control mentally and lose their body. I wanted a simple monochrome set in the photos as to not distract from the red. The white is only slight, shown by the bright light and pale skin. It stands out coldly from the black, looking ill and lacks personality. The light and no face also shows how they have lost their life from before, their body's appearance is the only thing that matters to them, which is why they are the centre of the photos. The red fabric helps the dark photos to stand out as was as convey pain and scream danger as it grabs the viewers attention. The red fabric is used in the photos when she hits breaking point and is completely lost, The damage has been done to the body. When setting the fabric up for the background, i used my window which shone sunlight through the fabric, lighting it up to a red blaze. I found this very captivating as light has always interested me in art. The colour continued to burn through the photos as well, making the skin appear red, i found this effective as it created what i was trying to show with using the red fabric in the photos. However, this also made the photos lose details, such as the red fabric loses its purpose as it does not stand out in the photos, now looking lost. I also lose the little sewing details and water marks that i created on the photos. They stood out boldly as the skin looked so pale. I feel that the light helped add an alternative sinnister feel to the photos but caused it to lose to many others.
   Once i printed out the photos on paper i dripped water to make the ink run on the skin. This caused discolouration and unpredictable markings that convey a decaying look to the skin and photos. I feel it helped show how the body was wasting away, additionally i let some water drops run down the page. This caused for the markings to look like tears that have run and stained, showing her sadness as she suffers alone. I really like the unpredictability and unique markings that the water creates, however i could of chosen one specific way to mark the page such as random water drops or letting them run in straight lines. Furthermore, i could have tried only wetting certain areas of the body and create certain markings like a straight line of dots to highlight the spine on the back. I also sewed on features of bones using red and grey thread. I wanted to use a free hand sewing machine so it looked more wild, however, i didn't get the chance so they look too simple and have less of an impact. Additionally, i wanted a lot of loose hanging thread, to mimic the pouring red fabric in the photos like blood but struggled to create that appearance from the simple sewing.
      Three photos printed out when the printer ran out of black ink. This creating an interesting fading effect on the photos, i felt it encouraged the idea of losing control and of oneself. However, the colour turned pink and i feel that it doesn't really fit in with the colour scheme, if it faded to white it would've worked better however the change popping up throughout the photos help keep and interest when viewing them all. To improve the photos i would want to work on the staging of the body so it would be more central and in the same place, as when viewing them close together the constant ,move around is distracting and makes it look confusing, even messy. This could convey the disruption and distress as they suffer however, i think i would prefer for the bodies to be in line so the body language is clear to see and compare the changes from photo to photo.
    Lastly, i sewed all the photos together, this was difficult as the sewing machine could easily rip the pages. I used zig zag sewing as the back and forth motion shows how confused she is feeling with all the feelings of hatred darting around in her mind. Unfortunately not all the photos ended up in a straight line which really irritates me. I wanted them straight so it would be like following a photo film strip.   
    The background/border is the weakest element to this piece. I wanted to sew different red fabrics together, with ripped gaps to look ruined. However this was difficult to create as i had nothing to support the fabrics to hang straight and not droop. I needed something like a wooden board to spread the fabric on so it would be straight. I did my best by hanging the fabric from my window curtains and tying the corners to the rope that bordered the fabric. To me this looked sloppy and the rope looked lost, even unseeable as the light blocked it out and the remaining fabric covered it. If i was able to have ripped the fabrics and support the border i would of been able to tie the loose fabric ends to the rope. Allowing the rope to have purpose and look fixtured and strong, like in the photo as it is strangling her body. Lastly, to improve this i wanted to paint on the fabric with black paint and PVA glue. I wanted to create weeds growing up the fabric I believe the weeds are very important to understand the meaning of this piece and therefore need to be highlighted more. It would also help bring all of it together, the detail would bring it towards the smaller details in the photos that need to be seen in order to understand the impact and suffering.
   To develop this entire piece, i could have little scraps of red fabric with sellotaped transferred versions of these photos. The piece would be in a line, spread out on a plain white wall that i could paint little black weeds growing up on. A small rope would be woven in between and connecting all the pieces. The photos could be different and be taken so it looked as if she is pulling the rope tighter.

Final Piece: Dulcamara

     "Dulcamara" is a combination of latin words meaning "Sweet-bitter". I took it from the scientific name "Solanum Dulcamara" for the poisonous plant, Bittersweet Nightshade. I felt that this was a fitting name as my final piece is about social pressures that can begin the down fall to anorexia. Society paints a pittoresque picture of thin bodies through the media, they are seen as beautiful and most successful- sweet. However, this teaches people with different bodies that they are not beautiful and through unhealthy diets that are advertised, people dangerously try to achieve unrealistic bodies that causes them to develop anorexia. The media deceive people through photoshop and take advantage of vulnerable people, creating bitter, judgemental minds instead of teaching others to accept and love others differences. My piece highlights the danger of this influence, showing the suffering of one's mind as they struggle with their bodys image. Taking in the views and expectations of society that are represented by the weeds in the photos. Weeds are unwanted and can kill other plants that are trying to grow, much like how the media does not represent all ethnicity, race, body types, and sexual preferences.